The Psychiatric Hot Line

Copied from Paul Seabright's door in the Cambridge University Economics Faculty.


"Hello, welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline . . .
  • If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
  • If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
  • If you have multiple personalities, please press 3 ,4, 5 and 6.
  • If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line until we can trace the call.
  • If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
  • If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No-one will answer."


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